Take a second take a second take a year take a year

My first New York winter is wrecking hell on me, emotionally. I don't do well surrounded by flickering greys that smear into blackness by 5 P.M. every night. As a teenager, I used to romanticise Seasonal Affective Disorder. A lot of this has to do with the fact that my first girlfriend, the girl who was my first kiss and my first sexual experience and my first experience with loving someone being like a brick through a window constantly, would look into the distance in that way that only high school girls can  (which is to say looking at absolutely nothing but making a 15 year old boy heart will with the feeling that she's staring into the future and has it all in her hands) and whisper shit like "winter's coming..." only to trail off.

(Again-only something that a teenage girl can get away with, because as women get older, their eyes lose the ability to mask truth.)

Now, though,

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